i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize