went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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