im having a threesome with these popsicles
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
