Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
