As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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