She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
