found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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