I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
