i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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