great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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