I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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