I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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