Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize