I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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