i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
