they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
