Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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