I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
