It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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