3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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