No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
