I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
