he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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