Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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