She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
