i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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