You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
