Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
