don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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