It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
