everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
how drunk are you?
Several
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
