Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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