need another drink. this is the easiest way
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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