the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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