I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
