I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
