i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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