K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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