Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
