I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
