wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
