its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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