Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
