After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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