i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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