I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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