There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
