i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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