guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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