I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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