omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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