I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
