I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
