i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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