Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
