Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
