I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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