You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
