what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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