Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
