Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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