i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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