i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
